Big news, the Neo-Nazbols have dug a secret tunnel into the rear of the Gay Reich. Petra has had a backdoor into their servers and communications for a while now, and apparently they got everything they needed from the dig site to conduct a ritual to summon something terrible to exact revenge. Galdikas has already finished the retrovirus to kill the minions and with Yezhov's intel it can be released into Fran's lab before you get there. That should help even the odds.

Monday, August 2, 2021

State of the City: Faction Relations

"Our Party has united the peoples, the nation-wide system is a great power!"

Art. V. Menshikov, 1971

Allies

The Neo-Nazbols
The Red Ordo
CounterDogma

Vassals

The Sisters of Tleechy Natcha
The Fae
Mayami Import Remnants

Friendly

The Gopniks
The Materialists
The Excavators of the Underground Earth
The Saburovs

Neutral

Krasnaya Zvezda
The Municipal Government

Unfriendly

The Cosmothanatologists

Hostile

NOVOST
The Gay Nazis

Thursday, July 29, 2021

Arkheologorodok: Session ??? Prep

News

Good evening Arkheologorodok! This is Lara Kiseleva of Orbita News bring you this weeks news round up! Let's get to it!

Now is the second week of campaigning and it's looking to be a tight race! Polls can't quite agree who is currently in the lead, but all agree it's either Governor Yevseyev's Refurbishment Party or Radinka Menshchikova's Bright Future Party. Both are riding high on recent crime suppression and economic initiatives respectively, more on both later.

Coming in a close third is Inna Illina's Faith & Works Party, polling high with active Orthodox Christians as well as religious Central Asian workers. Promises for both expansion of city aide services as well as upholding public morality finding support across religious lines. Well, except for the atheists, but no one cares about them anyway.

Ervin Tsitrusovyye's youth oriented New National Bolshevik Party of Eurasia is showing a better account for itself than expected, managing to very effectively mobilize the youth vote. Whether or not this will be enough to carry them further into a position of influence isn't yet clear, but those kids are showing some real enthusiasm. It's good to see the youth getting off those phones and doing something for once!

Finally, Ivan Ligachev and the Communist Party are remaining at a very stable 5th place. Unionized skilled workers are proving to be solidly backing their man, a sizeable block that could put Ligachev in position of king maker, or maybe spoiler.

Arkheologorodok Session 6: Santa Muerte Robs a Convenience Store on Ramon Mercader Day

August 20th marks the biggest festival in Arkheologrodok, Ramon Mercader Day. The streets are alive with celebration as the people don novelty sombreros and eat what passes for street tacos in Central Asia. The main attraction is the parade down Ramon Mercader Prospekt, but the partying goes well into the night.

Aleksandr's day doesn't get to start with festivities however. Lured into the hotel bar, he's greeted by two heavily tattooed brodyaga of the Bratva, telling him he has a meeting with the Vor to get to. Weighing his options, Aleksandr decides that running now would guarantee the Bratva marking him for death, and so resignedly allows them to usher him into a waiting g-wagon and shuttle him to the Banya.

Arkheologorodok Session 16: North Korean Bio-Punk

When we last left the Archaeology Dorks, they had just emerged from the underground frontier into the polyclinic's domed cavern only too see the building consumed by flams, a large group of shuffling figures silhouetted by the inferno.

Out of sight from the arsonists, the party decides to observe and listen in before doing anything hasty. They're quickly able to ascertain that nine figures, all but the smoking woman in black robes in undead, and of those three are intelligent and willing participants. Quite a few of the shuffling husks look to be commuters killed in the subway bombings of a few weeks ago, along with a few skeletons, and a teenage girl with slits down her forearms and feral hatred in her eyes is the second in command. She reports to the smoking woman that two of them managed to slide through some cracks before they set fire to the whole place and begs to be allowed to start a hunt. The smoking woman calmly, sweetly speaks to her as a mother would to a daughter, saying that all the evidence of the transaction was destroyed, and the two who escaped will "get what's coming to them in time, like everyone else."

A small cigarette butt like this one could burn a huge factory!
1973

Session 15 Play Report: Weaponized STDs and You

Syphilis Can Be Cured! 1922
Center-left: "Syphilis can be cured quickly at the onset of the disease."
Center-right: "Neglected syphilis can be cured by a long neat treatment"
Center-bottom: "Consequences of untreated syphilis; Insanity, Paralysis, deformation , stillborn children, idiotic children

The party reconvenes after having successfully secured and cured the werebull Dr Peter Jordanson, and proceed to discuss the political implications there in. Governor Yevseyev personally tied himself to Jordanson in order to show he can bring "influential" people to Arkheologorodok, while also using him to appeal to his conservative base and as a symbol of increased medical tourism. With the beginning of the election, and the Cheech's antipathy towards Yevseyev for that little GSS ambush in the sewers, there's much that can be done with Jordanson.

After much discussion of strategies, goals, and the political parties, the Archaeology Dorks were torn between backing the Saburov aligned Faith & Works Party and the New National Bolshevik Party of Eurasia. Self-interest took prime position over ideology in their calculus, and they ultimately decided to back the New National Bolshevik Party of Eurasia, as they had more connections and influence with the Nazbols and that the whole underground occult crime thing would probably get a lot easier. As for Jordanson, they've decided to hold onto him for now while they observe the progress of the election and learn more about the Refurbishment Party.

Session 15 Prep

News

Good evening Arkheologorodok! It's time for democracy, as the three weeks of legal campaigning for city wide elections start today! We have a lot more candidates than usual, and it can be pretty confusing to know who to vote for. Well, I'm pleased to say that we here at Orbita News are going to help!

I'm voting for the first time!

Session 13 Prep

News

Good evening Arkheologorodok, this is Lara Kiseleva with Orbita News. Here is this weeks news round up.

The city is still reeling from the bombing of Gastev, Elektrichsky, Zhdanov, and Glory of Industry Stations during the morning rush hour last week. Officials from D.I. Dankovskii Hospital mark the death toll at 421, but many people are still unaccounted for. In a video release, a jihadist organization calling itself the Bektashi-Wahabist Union has taken credit for the attack, citing it as a retaliation for the Counter-Terrorism and Anti-Extremism Operation in Abattoir Town. Governor Yevseyev and Commissioner Nikitan have announced that the man referring to himself as the Mursid Shangdi is now public enemy #1 and that every effort will be bent to his capture and the destruction of the Bektashi-Wahabist Union.

Governor Yevseyev personally reopened the metro at a ceremony at Zhdanov Station, thanking the NOVOST Group for its donation of several high-end metro trains and announced a new effort to modernize and upgrade all aspects of public transit in Arkheologorodok. Governor Yevseyev also announced an overhauled security force for the metro, introducing Amerhan Ramazanov of Premier Security Systems as the new acting head of Metro Security.

Critics worry that this move heralds the privatization of the metro, citing that both the donated trains and the new security guards are both from companies held by the NOVOST Group. The head of the Committee for Transit wrote a scathing resignation letter and announced his departure from the incumbent Refurbishment Party and his joining of the new Faith & Works Party. Although non official statement has been released by the City Militsiya, Commissioner Nikitan was notably not present at the re-opening ceremony.

A special midnight mass was held by the Metropolitan Grigori the First at the Cathedral of the Holy Transfiguration on Sunday, where he made a joint statement with Rebbe Isiah Katzmann, Mullah Hamzat Kadyrhov, and Khenpo Lobsang about creating a "bulwark of faith against those that would despoil it in the name of violence" before announcing a coordinated relief fund organized through th Saburov Faith Foundation. Details on how to apply for aide can be found on the Saburov Faith Foundation's website or at participating churches, mosques, temples, or Arkheologorodok's only Synagogue.

In other news, world famous Canadian benzodiazepine addict and transphobe Dr Peter Jordanson has arrived in Arkheologorodok by invitation of Governor Yevseyev to receive cutting edge treatment for his condition. The Governor personally welcomed Dr. Jordanson at the Central Train Station, praising him as one of the world's leading intellects. Although medical tourism has been a consistent presence in Arkheologorodok for years, this will be the most high profile case, with the city's medical community hoping to see an increase in foreign patients in the coming years.

Finally, the weekend forecast indicates a continuation of the recent heatwave into the middle of next week. The City Utilities warn of increased stress on the city's electrical grid, and would like to remind citizens that breaking open fire-hydrants is illegal. The NOVOST Group has set up several cooling stations and the city government are offering vouchers to citizens to buy air conditioning units at reduced prices. To apply, go online to HotWar.ark

And that was this week's news round up, brought to you George Carlin's Hard R History Podcast. For Orbita News, this is Lara Kiseleva, reminding you to stay strong, Arkheologorodok Strong.

The Ossendowski Dossier; An Examination of The Stepnoy Universitet

Dear Mr. Bergstroem,

Unfortunately, I cannot attend our weekly soujourn into the cthonic regions of Arkheologorodok due to professional matters I must attend to. My efforts to understand the powers limiting my excavation of the Homo Slavonis Colossius specimen seem to have run into institutional resistance, and must spend time on putting these matters in order. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, as I know the Club has seen some upsets in its membership recently.

I have enclosed in this letter a "photocopy" (I continue to be amazed at our ability to recreate the wonders of the Slavonics) of a dossier collated by Ossendowski, one of my graduate students. I know you have had recent involvements with the group known as the Materialists, which leads me to believe this document may contain information of interest to you. I hope the intelligence here will prove useful to your future efforts.

Sincerely,

Doctor Luka Semenov

Stepnoy Universitet
(The University of the Steppe)

The View of Stepnoy Universitet from the Professionals Quarter

See the Sights of Scenic Arkheologorodok! A Primer for New Players

"We Have the Will and the Courage to Become Heroes of Our Time"

It has been a long road for Arkheologorodok, and the end is not even yet in sight, yet even now new beginnings bloom. As such, it is useful to take account of the state of Arkheologorodok as of writing, so that new comers may better acquaint themselves with their surroundings.

Arkheologorodok is what one might call an unrecognized state, much like Transnistria, except unlike Transnistria, Arkheologorodok gained its independence through bureaucratic loop holes, institutional forgetfulness, and a seeming unwillingness of any of the former republics of the USSR to claim it. And so this former closed city of science sits on the Steppe, a magnet for seekers of all sorts.

In the before time, it was a surprisingly bustling city of science and industry, a by-gone glory it endlessly attempts to reclaim. The city was kept alive through the efforts of its most prominent family, the Saburovs, a strange clan that seemed to materialize out of thin air in 1993 and re-opened the old Abattoir, a bizarre construction in the Southeastern portion of town that looks more like a mountain than a human construction. One would think this would draw comment, but people often find themselves never really thinking about it. With the foundation of their company, Steppak Meats, the establishment of several smaller abattoirs, and assistance to the ailing Stepment cement factory, the Saburovs in many ways came to rule this town.

Session 10 Prep

News & Rumors

Good evening Arkheologorodok! This is Lara Kiseleva broadcasting live from Orbita News, bringing you this week’s news round-up.

It is with great pleasure that I can announce to you all that the Counter Terrorism and Anti-Extremism Operation has been brought to a successful close with the recue of Dr Boris Tarasov from the clutches of Chechen extremists. In a joyous press conference, Commissioner Nikitan and Governor Yevseyev celebrated this triumph over extremism in a press-conference in the Municipal Palace, were several of the captured terrorists were presented. The Governor thanked the performance of our brave Militsiya, saying that his administration represented a thin line holding the forces of chaos and darkness back from our fair city.

For those wanting to celebrate the safety of our city, the newly re-opened Zhdanov Park is the perfect place to do so. Heavy winds are coming in from the east, make sure to weigh down your blankets and to grab your kites!

In even more good news, Arkheologorodok is welcoming the newest edition to the city's fine dining experience, La Buenasuerte Cantina y Cocina, an authentic Mexican dining experience with the largest selection of tequila on all the Steppe! Be sure to go onto OrbitaNews.com to read the review. La Buenasuerte Cantina y Cocina, where everyday is Ramon Mercader Day!

So after a day at the park and a delicious dinner at La Buenasuerte, the municipal government and the NOVOST Group are graciously providing a suite of free shows at the People's Theater for an entire week! Governor Yevseyev in a joint statement with NOVOST chairmen Dariy Belov have announced the beginning of New Optimism, and sincerely wish all citizens to enjoy the coming week, as it is a preview of glittering new future on the horizon.

And that was this week’s news round-up, brought to you by a kind donation by the Union of Antiquarians. If the store doesn't bare the union's seal, then that's no antique, it's just junk. For Orbita News, this is Lara Kiseleva, signing off.

Off the Record:

Seeing as Orbita News is now focused on New Optimism, a few things got left out of the news wire, namely that mage fight that happened at the bus stop nearest to the Institute for Experimental Aeronautics that ended up turning into some kind of car chase. Ain't clear what exactly happened and between who, but we can be pretty damn sure it was a fight between a pyromancer and a cryomancer, on account of the burnt out bus and the ramp of ice that launched an SUV into the second story of a warehouse. Shit has everyone on edge.

Speaking of, apparently the northern underground frontier has been a god damn warzone. Lot of Bratva dropping the hammer on the area.

Spartak: Gera came through. Apparently the rest of the Thanotologists were as impressed with his recovery of St Faustina as he anticipated, and he's been put in charge of his own "working group." He was only able to deliver $500, but he says he'll be able to get the rest soon. He's a surprisingly chatty guy for a spy

Zhou has been talking to the other tweakers and he knows where most of the Gay Nazi drugpushers tend to operate in Little Azov. He’s pretty sure this means they should have at least one stash house in the area that their “sanitater” should be going to so they can re-up. Hankov is pretty sure he could find it.

Cheech: You've done some digging into the old guy Spartak brained in the Archaeology Lab a while back, Professor Sergei Yegorovich Krivkov. He was a tenured professor of engineering over at Stepnoy Universitat, but apparently he was also the co-founder of something called the Cosmos Project, which seems to be a bunch of engineers and Christian mystics working on...something. They're normally pretty peaceful types, though they can get heavy when it comes to recovering tech from the Underground. But you're getting the impression that they going to get heavy with you and yours after killing their co-founder.

But you also managed to find out about some people who aren't terribly fond of the Cosmos Project who call themselves the Materialists. They compete over recruits and over turf, the Materialists considering themselves the responsible caretakers of the buried technologies in the Underground. You were able to get the name of one of them, a municipal electric worker named Koldan Egorov. He likes to drink at the Grand Khan Irish Pub.

Dr. Galdikas: "uhhhh, boss, so I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I've made some great strides in utilizing the funny water and our patented techniques to make more effective workers. The bad news is that it would seem that one of the interns botched a routine procedure on one of the subjects and it seemed to have, uhhh, unlocked something? The fire damage was pretty minimal, but he's out there and he...well...he knows. Anyway, call me back when you get this. Love you." -Pierre

You swear you keep seeing a guy in a dark hoodie looking at your apartment window at night.

Aleksandr: The grand opening went well, that's good, Slava has delivered not just his main product, but even high quality produce and meat, so that's even better. Mara is adjusting well to working as a hostess, but you're seeing a paranoia form in her, made worse by the fact you know you're being watched and they're getting better at it, they switch out tales more often now. Their angle is weird, they're really taking their time and you don't know why.

The Ornithologist wants to talk, says he has a couple bounties he wants you to undertake. You've got a bad feeling all around.

Semenov: The shutting down of the dig has been an irksome set back, but you were able to retrieve some remnants of ancient Slavonic wisdom. From what you've gathered from the analysis of the cross section of the ribs, this is only structurally similar to a human, but that is where the similarities end. Spectral analysis of the bone is revealing exotic materials, and from what you know of the Slavonic Wisdom, it could be fashioned into a weapon that could harm noospheric constructs.

Ossendowski wasn't able to turn up anything in terms of local folklore, mostly because they deemed it impossible early on, so they instead spent their time working on translation of the Enochian scrimshaw in the bones. You would be mad if she wasn't able to turn up something useful. The skeleton seems to be both a chronicle and perhaps a grimoire, much is incomplete because much is still buried, but there are mentions of Mars and fallen civilizations, and mention of "stolen power" by earth bound usurpers. Ossendowski has also provided the outlines of what appears to be a noospheric technique for localized time dilation.

Your more mundane research into the records and dealings of the University has been altogether much less successful, in fact, you're quite confident that the entire faculty is aware of what you're trying to learn, and you're also certain you've made enemies. How many and who remains to be discovered.

Gavril: Alright, so it looks like this is turning into less of a temporary hideout and more of a permanent kind of situation. No problem, lot of work here, lot of money to be made, the family seems to actually prefer to keep you down here for the time being. They sent you a little money and you've got your own house a little business in the suburbs. You're carving a nice little niche for yourself here, and you're building a little network for your trade. Man, you're really glad the Bratva seems convinced someone other than you killed the Numinist, because those fuckers are tearing the Underground apart from what you hear. Better keep that one to yourself.

Jobs:

Vernisa is offering $2,000 for a recovery job down in the Underground. She tells you to call her on a landline to set up a meet.

Chef Mosolov has announced a $300 reward to anyone who can bag him Vodyanoy. He's planning to make frog legs.

The smuggler Slava says he's cooking something up, maybe you lot would be interested.

Haven't checked in on the Excavators in a while, you know they'd pay top dollar for a passage to Polis Station.

Monday, December 7, 2020

Arkheologorodok in Focus: Miami in a Hangar

Mayami Import

[Майами Импорт]

Beneath the derelict Institute for Experimental Aeronautics is an utterly cavernous facility, a massive hidden hangar, large enough to comfortably fit multiple tu-160s, strategic bombers with a wing span of a 182 ft. The hangar floor is lined with pull car towing systems and turntables for moving the aircraft onto rail lines for rapid deployment through tunnels to the eastern airfields. From the hangar, there are multiple rail, car, and pedestrian tunnels snaking out into the Underground at large, though many are still sealed behind massive blast doors that refuse to be lifted.

But the Hangar is not abandoned, far from it, it is constantly abuzz with activity, for it is here that the smuggling ring Mayami Import has made its home, and under the wings of aircraft designed to drown a decadent west in flames, a flourishing market place has formed.

Relations with Factions and Individuals After Session 8

What Others Think of You (As Far As You Know)

Friendship for Peace and Progress, 1961

The Gay Nazis consider you Der Feind, don’t expect mercy
The buyers you ambushed in the Archaeology Lab are probably none too pleased that you crushed Professor Krikov’s skull and stole their shit, whoever they are
Bozo is a little less than enthused with you
Spartak is much loved in the New National Bolshevik Party, you can consider them allies
Saving the founder and president of the Excavators goes a long way, consider them friends
Slava speaks well of you in Mayami Import, consider them friendly
Vernisa was pretty pleased with your work, consider the Saburovs as amicable
Dr Orlova and her staff at the Polyclinic look forward to future joint ventures, consider them allies
The Psychometric Agronomy Study Group at VARANIL are pleased with the current arrangement
Oksana’s ex-boyfriend Boris probably isn’t happy you burgled his nest
The artists and activists of CounterDogma would be willing to work with you again
The Toporika Bratva are happy to take their cut out of your hustles
The detente with the Gopniks holds firm
You haven’t left much of an impression on the revolutionaries of the Krasnaya Zvezdna
Major Smirnov is easing the militsiya pressure on you lot
Abram, the Israeli hippie, is a friend of Spartak
You haven't encountered the Thanatologists directly, but you have know NeoNazbol spy named Gera has infiltrated them
The Sisters of Tleechy Natcha don't leave the Parlor very often, so they have no quarrel with you

NPCs and Factions are in bold

Locations are underlined

Dispositions are in italics

Some of these may be combined

Sunday, November 15, 2020

Session 8 Prep

News & Rumors

Good evening Arkheologorodok! This is Lara Kiseleva broadcasting live from the Orbita News building on beautiful Elektricheskiy Prospekt, bringing you this week’s news round-up.

The top story of the week is the ongoing crackdown in Abattoir Town. The missing man has been identified as Boris Tarasov, a homeopathic doctor. Mr Tarasov is believed to be held in an apartment building on Sarnath Circle. The OMON has deployed in full force around the building and have been sieging it for a full day now. The general raids going on throughout Abattoir Town are continuing during the siege, and Commissioner Nikitan has declared that the militsiya are doing a clean sweep of the area, having arrested upwards to 100 terrorist suspects and seizing several weapons caches. There have been at least 5 different fire fights over the course of the crackdown.

A massive funeral procession for the burial of Ludomir Malankhov, better known on the street as Numitist, so named for the role he played as the Derzhatel Obshack for a group of local entrepreneurs. The procession made its way from the Cathedral of the Holy Transfiguration, where Metropolitan Grigori himself presided over the rites, to his notable cenotaph at the Southern Steppe Burial Ground. The cause of death has not been made known to the public, but it was known to have occured in the Koba Bath House in the river district of Old Downtown. The death was likely an accident, but if it wasn’t *sound of shuffling papers and voices in the background* whoever did it ought to kill themselves while they still can before vengeance catches up to them.

Residents hoping to retreat from the sense of fear in the streets to the calm greenery of Zhdanov Park are sadly out of luck, as the Ministry of Outdoor Recreation have closed Zhdanov Park in Conjunction with the Ministry of Transit’s decision to close several large roads around the park.

And that was this week’s news round-up, brought to you by Tachanka brand Tushonka, a hearty meal of beef, pork, and now ostrich, all in a single can! You can’t beat the downhome taste of the steppe packed into each can of Tachanka brand Tushonka, by Steppak Meats. For Orbita News, this is Lara Kiseleva. Stay safe out there, Arkheologorodok.

Off the Record:

The news ain't covering it, but the Gay Nazis have taken over the Little Azov neighborhood, just north of the marsh. They getting real handsy with people too, setting up inspection checkpoints, looking for any deformities or whatever. The cops have completely surrendered the neighborhood to them at this point, might as well be another country.

Spartak: Comrade Party Leader Ervin Tsitrusovyye and the Commissar of Communications Petra Borodina have told you that they plan to introduce Comrade Gera, a party member who has infiltrated a group of obscurantist reactionaries calling themselves the Thanatologists. Comrade Tsitrusovyye has impressed upon you that Gera's mission is of great importance, and that you should assist him in whatever way you can.

You've mentioned meeting some members of Krasnaya Zvezdna, and your various party comrades have decried them as little more than cultists.

The Arachnophile Oksana has been perhaps the most supportive of all your party comrades, and she happily promoting your new means of capital accumulation on her instagram.

Aleksandr: You've almost finished setting up the first Mexican restaurant on the Steppe, you've worked out what percentage the Bratva take and they've helped you get the city approval. You've been able to get Mara to delay the expedition a week because you're in serious talks with Ornithologist over ending her "contract."

You're happy to be busy with this right now, the Bratva are on the warpath after one of the top Brigadiers got beheaded in the Banya last week. They're not letting on about who they think it is, but whoever it is, they must be in the Underground, because that's where most of the war parties are going.

You still feel eyes on you, but no one seems to be making a move.

Jobs:

Vernisa is offering $2,000 for a recovery job down in the Underground. She tells you to call her on a landline to set up a meet.

Commissar Petra Borodina says she has a way to hit the Gay Nazis that can be profitable to both the Party and to you and your friends

Chef Mosolov has announced a $300 reward to anyone who can bag him Vodyanoy. He's planning to make frog legs.

Sunday, October 25, 2020

Session 5: Schnappi Cessation & Sluggish Schizophrenia

The Resolute Brothers by Alexander Aspit
1918

So all those dig applications Professor Semenov wrote while coked up paid off, as the University of the Steppe has approved funds and grad students for Semenov's excavation of the spinal catastrophism in the underground frontier near the near and under the Silent Homes.

This brought along with it a complication. The dig site was in territory disputed between the Gay Nazis and the Gopniks, two gangs whose first impressions of the party were not good ones. In fact, they were quite lethal. Realizing that an agreement must be reached with one of them in opposition to other in order to provided security for the dig site. Knowing that Germanic conquest of the Rodina would have apocalyptic results in the Noosphere, Semenov elects to parlay with the Gopniks.

The Neo-Nazbols
Неонацболы
(Neonatsboly)

Session 7 Prep

News & Rumors

Good evening Arkheologorodok! This is Lara Kiseleva broadcasting live from the Orbita News building, bringing you this week’s news round-up.

Our top story is the violence on the evening of Ramon Mercader Day. Two Vos’moy convenience stores were destroyed, and an attempted robbery occurred at a third. Militsiya are currently investigating, and have reported the abandoned vehicle used in the ramming attack on one of the stores. Details are limited, the vehicle was apparently crashed into a tree near Gunig Marsh and contained evidence of violence.

Militsiya have released CCTV footage from the attempted robbery at the third store, and are currently on the look out for a bald man and a man with an eye patch. Commissioner Nikitan has announced a manhunt to find the terrorists, as they took a man hostage at the third location.

In a bizarre policy decision, Governor Yevseyev has announced an act of mass clemency after a lengthy review of multiple cases of inmates at Dzerzhinsky Prison, saying that “it is critical that we reunite husbands with wives, fathers with children, sons with parents.” The office of the governor has released a series of photos of these “Re-union Ceremonies.” Commissioner Nikitan has assured that the public has nothing to fear from these pardons, and that claims of a sizeable number of them being associated with the so-called Gay Nazis are “baseless speculation.”

A leaked report from the Ministry and Roads and Transit is making waves, with a 28% increase in traffic fatalities, apparently focused around the Old Downtown, particularly in the area around Zhdanov Park. The leaked report also cited Militsiya crime reports of a marked increase of illegal street races in the area. This comes on the heels of Commissioner Nikitan's "Make Arkheologorodok Beautiful Again" initiative last week, in which city militsiya were reported to have encountered unanticipated violent resistance to the beautification initiative.

In spookier news, sightings of the Silent Train have sky-rocketed, with even a handful of disappearances now being attributed to the phenomena. While Commissioner Nikitan has denounced such claims as "baseless hysteria," commuters have been reporting an notable increase in metro warden presence at night at both below and over-ground stations. We at Orbita News regret to inform you that we have been explicitly ordered by the city not to offer rewards for pictures. However, we are pleased to inform you that the ordinance said nothing about theories! Post your best theories as to the cause on Orbitanews.com and win cash prizes!

And that was this week's new round up, brought to you by the Auto Coachman's Combine, reminding you that it's just not safe to get in a car that doesn't bear the Combine's seal. For Orbita News, this is Lara Kiseleva, signing off.

And be careful out there, Arkheologorodok.

Personal Interactions and Interests

Spartak: After a great night catching up with Abram over what you can only describe as consumer grade hemp and some shrooms, you hit upon a brilliant idea for a means of capital accumulation for the party, and green grocers/juice bar/garden center/shroom distribution center/illegal beetle racing venue. You're gonna call it Gorilla Gardening, you just need to set up a supply chain with old Chernykov in the Underground.

Party leader Tsitrusovyye has signed off on it, but both he and Commissar of Communications Borodina would also like to introduce you to a mole they have in another organization first. Apparently he has big news.

Dr Galdikas: OH GOD, DO THEY KNOW? You've heard they're looking for a bald man, but there are lots of bald men, you're a much respected pillar of the community, and Administrator Volya Saburov has been nicer than ever to you. You got a call from Vernisa to negotiate a couple small time rentals from the Monoilov Center, which is both comforting and concerning.

That's probably why you hired La Mite, a taciturn French hitman with a penchant for kimonos. That thug you sent down to the Silo to collect more of that water hasn't returned, which is worrisome. And Dr. Orlova had to reschedule your meeting to tonight. It's all very vexing.

Professor Semenov: This is why you never watch film, that silly Anglo tape has been bothering you all week. It's made concentrating on the dig more difficult, but it is coming along. However, apparently there have been some vandals over night, stealing tools or draining out the gas of the generator. In addition, Dima says he and his boys are expecting a scrap with the Pederast Third Positionists, to use your lingo. But these damn dreams keep you up all night, lots of none-sense about diamonds in the sky forcing humanity to retreat underwater in vast, golden submarines.

Aleksandr: These Toporika Bratva blatnoy are some of the craziest fuckers you've dealt with in a while. It's like they can't decide if it's 1993 or the height of the Bitch Wars, so they just act like it's both. And the Vor...he sounds almost like a parody but you're sure it's not an act, and a man that large should be able to move so easily. But they're true to their word.

Mara won't talk about what her "penance" was and you won't ask, though the Ornithologist offered to give you the dvd. She's resilient, scarily so, and you think she'll take a boat down the underground river by herself if you let her.

Gavril: These fucking assholes knocked over three different corner stores while you were puking up your guts from that Ramon Mercader Day street taco, the fucking skeleton Virgin Mary staring down at your from on top of the toilet the whole fucking time. You need to kill something, doesn't matter what and only minimally matters who.

Thursday, August 26, 2021

Monday, August 23, 2021

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Monday, August 2, 2021

Thursday, July 29, 2021

Thursday, June 24, 2021

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

Thursday, April 1, 2021

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Monday, December 28, 2020

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Saturday, December 12, 2020

Monday, December 7, 2020

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

What Others Think of You (As Far As You Know)

Sunday, November 15, 2020

Sunday, October 25, 2020

The Neo-Nazbols Неонацболы(Neonatsboly)

Saturday, October 24, 2020

The Neo-Nazbols
Неонацболы
(Neonatsboly)